Charlie’s Angels ««
PG-13, 98m. 2000
Cast & Credits: Cameron Diaz (Natalie), Drew Barrymore (Dylan), Lucy Liu (Alex), Bill Murray (Bosley), Sam Rockwell (Eric Knox), Tim Curry (Roger Corwin), Kelly Lynch (Vivian Wood), Crispin Glover (Thin Man), Matt LeBlanc (Jason), LL Cool J (Mr. Jones), Tom Green (Chad), Luke Wilson (Pete), John Forsythe (Voice of Charlie). Screenplay by Ryan Rowe, Ed Solomon and John August based on the television series by Ivan Goff and Ben Roberts. Directed by McG.
If Charlie’s Angels, were about twenty minutes shorter, the film would run about as long as some of those dull, 75 minute classes I have dozed off in on Tuesdays and Thursdays throughout my never ending career of college courses.
When it came to those classes, I was usually awakened by the sight of the instructor who was staring right at me without saying a word. Or he/she would just yell out loud making sure everyone heard them to the point one had to wake up.
It wouldn’t have mattered if I had gotten a good night’s sleep before seeing Charlie’s Angels. I’d have slept right through it anyway had I not been rudely awakened by the sounds of explosions every ten minutes. Or the cracking sound of the riding crop Lucy Liu’s character slams on the desk while teaching a course to some dimwitted, yet sexually aroused schoolboys in her latex clad dominatrix outfit.
Watching the film is like going out on a date with the most beautiful looking blond woman who is incapable of holding an intelligent conversation.
The film’s epitaph comes in the first five minutes as LL Cool J complains about how Hollywood has made yet another movie based on a hit TV show (this one being T.J. Hooker: The Movie) before jumping out of a 747 along with a passenger he was assigned to capture.
All right. It’s a she in the form of Drew Barrymore the minute she lands successfully on a speedboat driven by a very skimpy, almost bikini less Cameron Diaz.
The film is based on the hit television show of the same name, if you haven’t guessed already, from the late 1970s whose episodes I never once saw in their entirety. I couldn’t even tell you, with the exception of Farrah Fawcett, who the other two actresses were that starred in the show without browsing through a book that lists every single TV series ever made.
Then again, I never had to watch any of the episodes. The opening credits summarized exactly what the show was about. Three women working for an undercover detective agency would be sent out on various assignments by a voice on the phone named Charlie (Dynasty’s John Forsythe) while the man put in charge of the women’s safety was some character named Bosley, now played in the movie version by Bill Murray. Forsythe once again reprises his role as the voice on the phone.
There is your plot for the Charlie’s Angels movie which might as well be a one hour pilot for a new Charlie’s Angels TV series instead of a big-budget motion picture franchise (yes a sequel is already being planned).
The difference though is studios can afford to spend millions more dollars on special effects that blow this new trio of Angels (Diaz, Barrymore and Liu) off their feet literally in slow motion as all three go flying through the air until they hit the front windshield of a car.
Network censors would have never allowed Farrah Fawcett to shake her rear end in her panties the way Cameron Diaz does on the big screen. It would probably be ok by today’s standards considering that ABCS’s cop show drama, NYPD Blue, paved the way for R/PG-13 rated television shows.
Aside from the numerous disguises the girls use to infiltrate the villain’s hideout, there’s also the countless Matrix style, judo, karate, whatever-you-want-to-call-it combat moves the Angels exhibit. Would you believe not one of them carries a gun?
Before exiting the room to the tune of Michael Jackson’s Moonwalk with her hands still tied, Barrymore manages to beat the you know what out of the henchmen employed by a high-tech genius (Sam Rockwell) who wants to kill Charlie for reasons that go back to the Vietnam War.
The film is nothing more than a chick flick where women and giddy school girls can cheer on the heroines and laugh at how clueless the Angels’ boyfriends (Tom Green, Friends’ Matt LeBlanc and Luke Wilson) are as they wonder what it is their girlfriends do for a living.
The worst performance is from Murray who like a boxer, looks like he went through a few punishing rounds with some of the cast members and scriptwriters as to how his part was written only to lose the arguments every time. He acts like a stand-up comedian in his first night club act who is unsure how the audience will react. I saw this movie in a theater full of people and not one person laughed whenever he was on screen, myself included.
If there is any consolation, Charlie’s Angels does have one thing going for it that the Lost In Space (1998) and Wild Wild West (1999) movies didn’t have; two of the worst big screen TV remakes to date so far.
Whereas those two movies focused more on special effects and cool set designs than on character development, Charlie’s Angels, to some extent, at least has personality that comes mostly in the form of good looks and feminine wiles.
©3/28/01
PG-13, 98m. 2000
Cast & Credits: Cameron Diaz (Natalie), Drew Barrymore (Dylan), Lucy Liu (Alex), Bill Murray (Bosley), Sam Rockwell (Eric Knox), Tim Curry (Roger Corwin), Kelly Lynch (Vivian Wood), Crispin Glover (Thin Man), Matt LeBlanc (Jason), LL Cool J (Mr. Jones), Tom Green (Chad), Luke Wilson (Pete), John Forsythe (Voice of Charlie). Screenplay by Ryan Rowe, Ed Solomon and John August based on the television series by Ivan Goff and Ben Roberts. Directed by McG.
When it came to those classes, I was usually awakened by the sight of the instructor who was staring right at me without saying a word. Or he/she would just yell out loud making sure everyone heard them to the point one had to wake up.
It wouldn’t have mattered if I had gotten a good night’s sleep before seeing Charlie’s Angels. I’d have slept right through it anyway had I not been rudely awakened by the sounds of explosions every ten minutes. Or the cracking sound of the riding crop Lucy Liu’s character slams on the desk while teaching a course to some dimwitted, yet sexually aroused schoolboys in her latex clad dominatrix outfit.
Watching the film is like going out on a date with the most beautiful looking blond woman who is incapable of holding an intelligent conversation.
The film’s epitaph comes in the first five minutes as LL Cool J complains about how Hollywood has made yet another movie based on a hit TV show (this one being T.J. Hooker: The Movie) before jumping out of a 747 along with a passenger he was assigned to capture.
All right. It’s a she in the form of Drew Barrymore the minute she lands successfully on a speedboat driven by a very skimpy, almost bikini less Cameron Diaz.
The film is based on the hit television show of the same name, if you haven’t guessed already, from the late 1970s whose episodes I never once saw in their entirety. I couldn’t even tell you, with the exception of Farrah Fawcett, who the other two actresses were that starred in the show without browsing through a book that lists every single TV series ever made.
Then again, I never had to watch any of the episodes. The opening credits summarized exactly what the show was about. Three women working for an undercover detective agency would be sent out on various assignments by a voice on the phone named Charlie (Dynasty’s John Forsythe) while the man put in charge of the women’s safety was some character named Bosley, now played in the movie version by Bill Murray. Forsythe once again reprises his role as the voice on the phone.
There is your plot for the Charlie’s Angels movie which might as well be a one hour pilot for a new Charlie’s Angels TV series instead of a big-budget motion picture franchise (yes a sequel is already being planned).
The difference though is studios can afford to spend millions more dollars on special effects that blow this new trio of Angels (Diaz, Barrymore and Liu) off their feet literally in slow motion as all three go flying through the air until they hit the front windshield of a car.
Network censors would have never allowed Farrah Fawcett to shake her rear end in her panties the way Cameron Diaz does on the big screen. It would probably be ok by today’s standards considering that ABCS’s cop show drama, NYPD Blue, paved the way for R/PG-13 rated television shows.
Aside from the numerous disguises the girls use to infiltrate the villain’s hideout, there’s also the countless Matrix style, judo, karate, whatever-you-want-to-call-it combat moves the Angels exhibit. Would you believe not one of them carries a gun?
Before exiting the room to the tune of Michael Jackson’s Moonwalk with her hands still tied, Barrymore manages to beat the you know what out of the henchmen employed by a high-tech genius (Sam Rockwell) who wants to kill Charlie for reasons that go back to the Vietnam War.
The film is nothing more than a chick flick where women and giddy school girls can cheer on the heroines and laugh at how clueless the Angels’ boyfriends (Tom Green, Friends’ Matt LeBlanc and Luke Wilson) are as they wonder what it is their girlfriends do for a living.
The worst performance is from Murray who like a boxer, looks like he went through a few punishing rounds with some of the cast members and scriptwriters as to how his part was written only to lose the arguments every time. He acts like a stand-up comedian in his first night club act who is unsure how the audience will react. I saw this movie in a theater full of people and not one person laughed whenever he was on screen, myself included.
If there is any consolation, Charlie’s Angels does have one thing going for it that the Lost In Space (1998) and Wild Wild West (1999) movies didn’t have; two of the worst big screen TV remakes to date so far.
Whereas those two movies focused more on special effects and cool set designs than on character development, Charlie’s Angels, to some extent, at least has personality that comes mostly in the form of good looks and feminine wiles.
©3/28/01
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