Van Helsing «««
PG-13, 131m. 2004
Cast & Credits: Hugh Jackman (Van Helsing), Kate Beckinsale (Anna Valerious), Richard Roxburgh (Count Vladislaus Dracula), David Wenham (Carl), Shuler Hensley (Frankenstein’s Monster), Elena Anaya (Aleera), Will Kemp (Velkan), Kevin J. O’Connor (Igor), Alun Armstrong (Cardinal Jinette), Silvia Colloca (Verona), Josie Maran (Marishka), Tom Fisher (Top Hat), Samuel West (Dr. Victor Frankenstein), Robbie Coltrane (Mr. Hyde), Stephen Fisher (Dr. Jekyll). Written and directed by Stephen Sommers.
Van Helsing has all the ingredients of a fun James Bond movie except the film is set in the late 19th century. To quote the phrase I’ve sometimes heard though to this day I have no idea who coined it, when it comes to the macabre, the film cleverly “throws everything in but the kitchen sink.”
Instead of technologically, mad maniacal villains bent on taking over the world, we get characters derived from the classic horror novels that include Dr. Frankenstein and his hunchbacked assistant in torture, Igor, as well as his most infamous creation, the monster himself.
There is also the Wolfman and an ugly muscle bound balding giant named Dr. Jekyll who, for a while, takes pleasure at tossing the movie’s hero assassin Gabriel Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman) around inside the towers of Notre Dame chapel like some puny rag doll.
Finally there is the Prince of Darkness himself, Count Dracula (Richard Roxburgh), who unlike Gary Oldman’s devious monster in search of his lost love from Francis Ford Coppola’s operatic Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992), seems as though he truly has no heart.
“I am hollow,” Dracula says to his flying female vixens. “I have no love.”
I wouldn’t be surprised if director/screenwriter Stephen Sommers (The Mummy - 1999) wanted to through in Frankenstein’s bride but decided against it as there were already too many characters in Van Helsing to begin with. If Jack the Ripper had been the work of some author’s crime-ridden imagination instead of being a real-life serial killer, he probably would have had a role here too.
Van Helsing is almost as much a tribute to classic authors like Bram Stoker and Mary Shelly as it is inspired by the James Bond and Indiana Jones movies when it comes to non-stop action. There is almost rarely a moment where the characters are seen taking a breather and when they do it isn’t for long.
Jackman’s Van Helsing is indeed the James Bond of the 19th century who after completing his latest assignment, returns to the agency that secretly sent him on such missions, The Vatican. Where upon confessing his latest sins, he is bluntly told point blank by his superior cardinal that their organization doesn’t exist.
He even has own rendition of 007’s Q in the form of a fryer named Carl (David Wenham) who supplies him with several murderous gadgets that include metal crosses and garlic who wouldn’t mind having a machine gun at his disposal.
“Why can’t I have one of those,” Van Helsing asks.
Whereas James Bond is always dealing with beautiful women whether they’re working on the side of good or evil, we get a sexy Transylvanian vampire killer (Kate Beckinsale) whose family has been battling Count Dracula for centuries. And a trio of sultry female flying vampire vultures who could be mistaken for angels were it not for their sickly grey color and sharp fangs.
I would find it easy to pick apart the number of unbelievable moments Van Helsing has like doubting the lead character’s crossbow which shoots out just as many arrows as a machine gun. I could debate how impossible it is for a carriage of six horses to successfully jump over a chasm. Then again, they aren’t your typical horses anyway. They’re Transylvanian animals as Beckinsale’s Anna Valerious says.
I am still not certain how both Van Helsing and Dracula battled each other in the 15th century and yet, they have been living the past three hundred or so years. Nor am I exactly certain as to why Dracula wants to gather all these monsters to begin with. I could be wrong as I am no meteorologist but I don’t think lightning strikes in the same place twice as seen in this film.
Then again, Van Helsing is a popcorn movie and is not the kind of film where I am supposed to ponder such things.
In a spring movie season where the top box office hit was seen as either a religiously moving experience or a two-hour punishment lesson in slow death (The Passion of the Christ). And where the number one movie to make the most money on opening weekend featured characters going off on much needed killing sprees (Kill Bill: Vol. 2, The Punisher, Man On Fire), Van Helsing is an enjoyable two hour getaway from such grim blood drenched storylines rich on body count and an entertainingly fast-paced, amusement park ride filled with monsters of yesteryear.
©5/10/04
PG-13, 131m. 2004
Cast & Credits: Hugh Jackman (Van Helsing), Kate Beckinsale (Anna Valerious), Richard Roxburgh (Count Vladislaus Dracula), David Wenham (Carl), Shuler Hensley (Frankenstein’s Monster), Elena Anaya (Aleera), Will Kemp (Velkan), Kevin J. O’Connor (Igor), Alun Armstrong (Cardinal Jinette), Silvia Colloca (Verona), Josie Maran (Marishka), Tom Fisher (Top Hat), Samuel West (Dr. Victor Frankenstein), Robbie Coltrane (Mr. Hyde), Stephen Fisher (Dr. Jekyll). Written and directed by Stephen Sommers.
Instead of technologically, mad maniacal villains bent on taking over the world, we get characters derived from the classic horror novels that include Dr. Frankenstein and his hunchbacked assistant in torture, Igor, as well as his most infamous creation, the monster himself.
There is also the Wolfman and an ugly muscle bound balding giant named Dr. Jekyll who, for a while, takes pleasure at tossing the movie’s hero assassin Gabriel Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman) around inside the towers of Notre Dame chapel like some puny rag doll.
Finally there is the Prince of Darkness himself, Count Dracula (Richard Roxburgh), who unlike Gary Oldman’s devious monster in search of his lost love from Francis Ford Coppola’s operatic Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992), seems as though he truly has no heart.
“I am hollow,” Dracula says to his flying female vixens. “I have no love.”
I wouldn’t be surprised if director/screenwriter Stephen Sommers (The Mummy - 1999) wanted to through in Frankenstein’s bride but decided against it as there were already too many characters in Van Helsing to begin with. If Jack the Ripper had been the work of some author’s crime-ridden imagination instead of being a real-life serial killer, he probably would have had a role here too.
Van Helsing is almost as much a tribute to classic authors like Bram Stoker and Mary Shelly as it is inspired by the James Bond and Indiana Jones movies when it comes to non-stop action. There is almost rarely a moment where the characters are seen taking a breather and when they do it isn’t for long.
Jackman’s Van Helsing is indeed the James Bond of the 19th century who after completing his latest assignment, returns to the agency that secretly sent him on such missions, The Vatican. Where upon confessing his latest sins, he is bluntly told point blank by his superior cardinal that their organization doesn’t exist.
He even has own rendition of 007’s Q in the form of a fryer named Carl (David Wenham) who supplies him with several murderous gadgets that include metal crosses and garlic who wouldn’t mind having a machine gun at his disposal.
“Why can’t I have one of those,” Van Helsing asks.
Whereas James Bond is always dealing with beautiful women whether they’re working on the side of good or evil, we get a sexy Transylvanian vampire killer (Kate Beckinsale) whose family has been battling Count Dracula for centuries. And a trio of sultry female flying vampire vultures who could be mistaken for angels were it not for their sickly grey color and sharp fangs.
I would find it easy to pick apart the number of unbelievable moments Van Helsing has like doubting the lead character’s crossbow which shoots out just as many arrows as a machine gun. I could debate how impossible it is for a carriage of six horses to successfully jump over a chasm. Then again, they aren’t your typical horses anyway. They’re Transylvanian animals as Beckinsale’s Anna Valerious says.
I am still not certain how both Van Helsing and Dracula battled each other in the 15th century and yet, they have been living the past three hundred or so years. Nor am I exactly certain as to why Dracula wants to gather all these monsters to begin with. I could be wrong as I am no meteorologist but I don’t think lightning strikes in the same place twice as seen in this film.
Then again, Van Helsing is a popcorn movie and is not the kind of film where I am supposed to ponder such things.
In a spring movie season where the top box office hit was seen as either a religiously moving experience or a two-hour punishment lesson in slow death (The Passion of the Christ). And where the number one movie to make the most money on opening weekend featured characters going off on much needed killing sprees (Kill Bill: Vol. 2, The Punisher, Man On Fire), Van Helsing is an enjoyable two hour getaway from such grim blood drenched storylines rich on body count and an entertainingly fast-paced, amusement park ride filled with monsters of yesteryear.
©5/10/04
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